*Trigger warning – This content deals with an account/observation of abuse and may be triggering to some people. Please be warned. Thank you*
These posts have nothing to do with tea apart from the fact that I am drinking it while posting this. I’ll be doing this everyday to share daily experiences or observations, just a rant really.
So, in the past few days I have realised that I no longer feel pain – physical pain. Even if i am battered for hours, i don’t cry because of the wounds, i cry from the fear of words.
I’m not sure when it started but today I can establish this as a conclusion, a fact. And, to be honest it feels great! It lessens the mental anxiety to some extent.
Have any of you felt the same? Please share. I’d love to get different perspectives on it.
A Blind Bird 
Even though “trigger warning”, the mental depression comes later.
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It sure does, Yoshiko. Pretty much inescapable.
Thanks for the comment. Appreciate your support. 🙂
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Welcome 🙂 I am just sharing my own experiences.
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And, I sincerely thank you for that. 🙂
Please have a nice rest of the week!
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Also wish you to have a nice rest of the week too 🙂
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Well done, my friend. I always enjoy hearing your thoughts. 🙂 I have always felt more afraid of words than physical pain. Bumps and bruises fade with time, but the wounds of a cruel tongue seem to plague me endlessly. I feel them to my very core and find it very difficult to release them.
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Thank you, my friend! I have been more afraid of the wounds, as going to school or uni was tough, it would become difficult to explain friends and such. Now that I think about it maybe it was I who was not in terms with it – but now I’ve become the same as you said, the words they keep echoing at odd times, there is no permanent solution I suppose but writing sure does help a lot. 🙂
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Writing is definitely cathartic! 🙂
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Wait, what do you mean battered for hours? *hugs*
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Thank you, Z. I’m okay, so, don’t worry. *hugs*
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Whoever made up that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” had it all wrong. Words do hurt. I was verbally abused by my father all throughout my upbringing. It totally hurt. Until today I need to take medication for anxiety disorder/depression. If I don’t take them, I don’t sleep. I’m irritated all the time. I’m emotional and irrational. So yea, I think that happened because of what I suffered growing up.
Love and hugs to you, my friend.
🙂
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Oh no, that’s really horrifying Staci. I can imagine – when it comes from a father it’s harsher than that from a mother. Words hurt, and so much so that it can drive a person to the limits of their tolerance. Sometimes I feel like shouting back at my mother and at times I have done so too, but it doesn’t help, does it? Even those words haunt me.
I have stopped taking anti-depressants for a while now and maybe that’s making it worse. As you say, I am irritable, all the time. Reckon I’ll have to go back to the pills.
It must be so troublesome for you – I hate how we have to suffer because of someone else’s personality.
Love and many hugs for you too, my friend. 🙂
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Oh, I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. You have a rough relationship with your mom eh. I really believe that the way we grow up, like our upbringing, really effects us. Could be why we see so many troubled youth now-a-day, and why there’s so much depression.
Love and hugs to you too sweetie.
🙂 ❤
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The mental pain is always the worst, not least because it can’t be seen and therefore acknowledged by others. Powerful stuff.
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It sure is, Chris, which to be honest is quite strange but it is true. Thank you very much for the support. I appreciate it a lot!
Please have a great weekend!
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And you too!
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You are a brave and wonderful person to post this. You are reaching out to more people than you will ever know. Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxx
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Thank you so very much, Rachael. It’s so great to see that there are people who support a victim out of the situation by supporting then rather than sympathizing with them. Much love and many hugs, my friend. ❤
Please have a wonderful weekend!
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It’s always astounds me when some humans are quick to judge others as being “jerks” when they hear them saying cruel things to others, yet fail to recognize it when they themselves do it others.
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Maybe that’s what some people consider as the way to blatantly balance life, to keep moving on. Just saying.
I know people who are not ‘jerks’ to others even if others are to them.
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Yes, I grew up fearing words–and as often happens, I married someone who would continue the “word abuse”. I’m alone by choice now, and much older–but still sensitive to words….
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I am really sorry to hear that…it’s such a shame that some people don’t take in account how others feel because of their words. It’s very sad..but it’s good that you’re alone by choice now maybe that’s the only way to happiness.
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I hope you are not clobbered. And I equally hope this is not in relation to the thing you have mailed me. I understand, it is staggeringly unmanageable to live with such a trauma…especially the sharp-worded things. Do not lose your strength and faith, my dear. Whatever be your present ail, just do not form any habitual bond with passing thing. The deserving peace is yet to come….just wait for the storm to pass. Take rest and stop worrying…..it will rock you for hours but will not lead anywhere.
Have a peaceful time, my friend.
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Thank you, R! I won’t lose! I am determined and I have the support of lovely friends like you – I treasure the bond between us. ❤
Hope you're well, my friend.
Have a great weekend!
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My Pleasure. Love your attitude. I am with you and I do treasure the sweetest bond we share. I am all fine now. Have a peaceful time. Shine Bright!
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It is strange isn’t it….that sound waves can cause pain…
Yes…I have always felt words as a cut of my heart much less desirable than being physically assaulted. I can make my body numb…no feeling at all…but words and their meanings cut like a razor…and while the physical scars fade and are barely remembered…the other become a part of your landscape.
Much much love to you 🙂 ❤ ❤
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You’ve rightly stated, Lorrie – words feel like a cut on the heart. It’s very strange…and I felt the same as you, the other day my body went completely numb! I have been like this since the past year, my body feels nothing now, no matter how hard i’m hit. The words do indeed cut like a razor and stay there – echoing and circling in the head.
Much love to you too, my friend! ❤ ❤
Please have a great weekend! 🙂
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My heart connects to yours and I am praying that you are not experiencing any hits now!!! Mine are old…and the only hits I experience now are the self inflicted sort…which I will hopefully learn to banish as well! Much love to you…may you experience peace! ❤ ❤
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Thank you so much, my dear friend. Much love to you too! ❤ ❤ ❤
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I don’t want to like this because it’s sad to think you’re going through something like this. I do like that you shared, that you’re reaching out. I wish there was more I could do than say, “Don’t forget who you are through these times, don’t lose focus on your light.”
You will prevail. Believe it.
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Thank you so much, Spahr. That you believe in me enough to ask me to do the same is very supportive of you and I appreciate it a lot! I will remember your words, my friend. And, don’t worry I am better now. 🙂
Please take care!
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