Anxiety | Repeat | Anxiety | Stop.

Should I
or maybe not?
‘Smile, Smile, SMILE!
Was it wrongly placed?
Is this the right face?
Maybe I stared too long
Or, were the words arranged wrong?
Will this be the right thing to say?
Or is it wrong to feel this way?
Why don’t I suit well with rhymes?
Say it, TELL THEM that you want it
No, it’s too expensive
I could never deserve it!
Maybe getting a tattoo
hurts sufficiently
But, the ink reeks of respect
I cannot get it done

Look, they are happy
You can be too | Never
Their smiles haunt me
I want them to stop
Stop living properly
Stop smiling
I don’t, when I know you are sad
For once can you not think like me
Measure your words, can you not?
For once, instead of me
Can you not?

“Measure, edit, measure, edit,
change, delete, I won’t say it
Measure, go back, check mood, think
words, words, what are the words
Measure, SPEAK, DON’T
Don’t say it yet!”

This house is too small
“She’s not a kid anymore”
I can hear them
“She’s not a kid anymore”
They talk and shout
because of me
How to live?
How do I live to make it stop?

Please don’t
Do not worry about me
Leave me alone | Don’t

Fly away
Break your wings
if that’s the only way