Exalting ends and cowardice

“She was blessed.
That’s why she left..
..too early.”
But why?
You never talked
about the blessed
kid before
Until she died
And, apparently you
cried when she could
not stand to
bid you goodbye
It’s the way
you’ve always been
Until people go
through things worse
than you, and oh
you have seen the worst
because your mother
doesn’t talk to you anymore
“It’s never my fault.
It’s always her.”
And oh you have seen the worst
Because your father died
In front of your eyes
When you could’ve saved him
Instead you chose to lie
to yourself and us
Illusions so firm
We probably have a
false reality planted
in our heads now
It’s the way
you’ve always been though
You never acknowledge
anyone’s presence
until they have no
way out than to be absent.

“You don’t know how to appreciate people.”
Well that’s the way you’ve made me
Don’t you see?
I cannot look at myself
in the mirror properly
But, I don’t know how to
say that to you or people who
know my identity
This is all I can do
And, like a coward
in a dark room I don’t
even think twice before
typing this
Because that’s how much
of a coward I am