through restlessness

i take a scoop of the sky
and cover your eyes
a clear sight
makes me feel uneasy
so i presume it does
the same to you
see, i was trying to help you
that is why i took our
garden’s swing-set and wore it
around my thighs – because
out of mind should be out of sight
Do you see that building
across the street, winking at us?
I have tried walking to it
to shut both the windows with
our swing-set – because
out of sight should be made out of use
But every time i think
that i have to do it for you
my thoughts push the building
further away and i am lost
looking for you to console me
tell me that i approve of you
and that’s why you like me
tell me more of your mistakes
but you won’t – because
out of use should be out of prayers
yet you pray everyday, oh i have
seen you sit in that scoop of sky
that you now place in that pram you
once bought for me,
where you feign
admittance
you tell me that to let live
is the only way to live
Why don’t you tell me of what
wrongs you have done without
romanticizing the consequences?
Why don’t you talk less
about my face and more of
how you go that scar that
runs along your eyes?
Why don’t you tell me that
you no longer like reading books
because they make you think too much?
Why won’t you ever tell me that
you seldom compromised but to
observe a different result will have
me live according to your whims?

I would have listened to you
but now i don’t know what i
am capable of doing anymore
as long as i don’t have you
tell me the same
I have placed you so high
that i place everyone else
according to how you will have me
It’s the filth in my design
and the glory of you being
what grounds me to my filth
that’ll never have me move on
till the day i cannot move
It is that which makes me
the most gullible and
the most skeptical of people
It is that which makes you
think you accept but just because
you have ‘think’ about it
before providing it to others
makes you a person who does
not accept and never will
It is that which will make me
write the same verse everyday

I still look for those who will
speak more of their mistakes –
for no reason, i suppose; but such
dignified souls wouldn’t be
able to bear the sight of me